The Gen Z and modern dating world have come up with some interesting terms that you need to be aware of. These coined terms are to cut short the bullshit and call spade a spade. One such modern dating term is ‘Breadcrumbing’. Confused as to what it means? Don’t fret because we are here to enlighten you with the term and all the signs that you need to be looking for to ensure you aren’t getting ‘breadcrumbed’!
Here Is All That You Need To Know About Breadcrumbing And Signs To Look For:
What Is Breadcrumbing?
The modern dating term ‘Breadcrumbing’ is known as a non-committal behavior in which one partner gives the other just enough time, attention, affection and affirmation to be romantically involved. However, not so much as to commit to something solid. To cut it short, breadcrumbing means faking romantic interest in a person without any intention to commit.
A breadcrumber wants to keep you interested, even when they know they have no real plans of taking things forward. They may or may not be consistent with showing their affection. But just when you muster all the courage to cut off ties with them, they will reel you back in with OTT gestures. To remember it easily, breadcrumbing = emotional manipulation.
It also includes dropping small morsels of interests and gestures like occasionally flirty messages, late night calls, date plans. These happen sporadically and usually don’t have any follow through. It is used to gain power over a person by showering them that you are interested in them and making them emotionally dependent and vulnerable.
Are You Getting Breadcrumbed? What Are The Signs?
To be honest, breadcrumbing is one of the scariest things that can happen when you are dating someone, as you never know where you stand in this situation. So, look for signs that can confirm if you are being breadcrumbed –
1. Everything Is Over The Top
The initial sign to look for are the gestures! A breadcrumber may go out of their way to make you feel special and interested. Everything they do will be slightly exaggerated, like making extravagant promises, showering you with random gifts, OTT flirting and compliments and so on. You may be blinded by all these, but everything about this is wrong as it is simply a way to emotionally manipulate you. As these gestures may make you believe that the person is surely going to commit to you someday.
2. Flattery And Compliments Are Breadcrumber’s Biggest Tools
Flirting includes complimenting and flattery, and it surely is a healthy part of any relationship. But, if the flattery is OTT or comes quite often, it is a tiny red flag that you need to start noticing and focusing on. For example –
‘I have never seen someone as beautiful as you are’
‘My day isn’t complete if I don’t see your face’
‘My life is complete now that I have you’ or
‘You are the only reason I wake up every day’.
These OTT compliments and flattery are okay once in a while, but if they come quite often, then you need to be aware.
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3. When Their Actions Don’t Match Their Words
There’s certainly some truth to the saying that actions speak louder than words. Most commonly a victim of breadcrumbing gets so blinded by flattery that they never notice if the words are aligning with the other person’s words. They say things that will get your attention, breadcrumbers do this to keep you interested without fully committing.
If your partner says they love you and want to be in a committed relationship with you but never seem to make the time to spend with you or make plans with you. This is the classic example when their words are not matching their behavior.
4. Inconsistency And Keeping On The Hook
A classic breadcrumbing behavior is inconsistent communication. You can never count on a breadcrumber to be there with you always. They either shower you with excessive love and attention or completely ghost you when you need them. Everything is dependent on the breadcrumber’s mood.
There may be times when they are super responsive and active, followed by periods of time where they seemingly disappear into complete silence to keep you at bay. When they feel they may be losing you or if you start being distant, they are back in action and give you attention until they feel that you are re-engaged.
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5. No ‘Taking It To The Next Level’ Or DTR Talks
With breadcrumbers, it’s common to get stuck in an endless loop of flirty messages without any plans to actually meet or take the relationship forward. A breadcrumber will never try to indulge in a DTR – define the relationship talk but instead, they will make you feel guilty for worrying about it.
They may even say they like or love you and see a possibility of a relationship in the near future, but will never actually make a commitment. However, if you start following up on those lines, you may get ambiguous responses, flat-out rejection delivered in a flirty wrapped message, or maybe with any lame excuses. For them, it is another way to gain control over you without losing their bachelor status
6. Impulsive Plans Or Talks Are Usually Surrounded Around Sex
If you get a call or text out of nowhere, remember it is a booty call. Remember that breadcrumbers does initiate plans, unless it is typically in the spur of the moment or is sex-driven. They may even go to the extent of letting their walls down and be all vulnerable to make you let lose. However, after their desires are fulfilled, they head back to being their normal self with minimum contact until they are ready for the next hook-up.
Also, let’s burst some ridiculous myths about female sexuality.
7. They Are Quite Secretive
Breadcrumbers don’t share much about their life. They may share some small things about their life and a couple of vague day to day activities to make you feel like they have nothing to hide. They may make up relatable incidents to your life to make you feel a little bit closer. But they don’t get too deep with you or open up as much as you do. They are intentionally keeping you at arm’s length because they don’t want to get too close.
8. Breadcrumbing Does Not Come With Boundaries
One of the biggest significant signs of breadcrumbing is that they won’t respect your boundaries. They will always require your undivided attention and will get angry if you try to set some boundaries. In fact, they will also go to the extent of making you feel guilty for asking for you own space or time. However, if you try to mirror their behavior and ask for undivided attention and constant updates, they may stir up a fight directly ghost you for a while thereafter.
9. Breadcrumbing Style Of Punishment
Flattery and compliments, attention and sweet talks can feel exciting at times, but when the other shoe drops things turn ugly quickly. The classic way of punishing you is withholding love and affection to manipulate you emotionally. Just like they compliment you, they can easily put you down too. They may even hurl insults, make crude remarks, gaslight and make you feel invalidated and devalued.
10. You Will Consistently Feel Their Deteriorating Interest
Even while talking to them, over time you will have a lingering and consistent feeling that you need to please them. This recurring feeling of trying to build a connection on a deeper level is yet another sign to look out for. You might feel like they are charming and flirtatious, but they don’t ask questions or make any efforts that you occasionally do for them. You will feel like you are chasing them and investing a lot to try to get the relationship going but that won’t solidify into anything. In short, no reciprocation!
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